Give the person some time and space to process the apology and their feelings. You know the phrase,”If at first you don’t succeed, try try again”? Well, that doesn’t apply here. So feel that, and resist the brain’s temptation to launch a counter attack. It’s natural to feel confused or hurt or rejected. Notice these emotions for what they are, and sit with them, rather than flipping them and getting defensive. So when the person doesn’t accept your apology, you feel hurt and disappointed. You’re sticking your neck out there and leaving yourself open to the possibility of rejection. You apologized for a reason, so while you might feel a little bit stunned by the person’s response, stay steady and calm, and leave the apologizy out there. I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard someone apologize, the other person doesn’t accept it, and then they say, “Well nevermind, I’m wasn’t sorry anyway.” We are not third graders on a playground.
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